How to be a perfect and genuine romanian
Posted on November 2, 2007 by admin
1.Romanians are known as natural born poets. So, the first commandment is to grab a rhyme-making software. As a foreigner you should first know how to rhyme basic words like pula (cock), muie (blowjob), spaga (bribe), pizda ma-tii (your mother’s cunt) etc.
2.The second step is to learn how to rest everywhere you are, how to burn the gas and rub the mint and never ever go to work without swearing and spiting and cursing the gods for letting you live this way.
3.Nothing lasts forever. Especially your happiness. So, whenever you feel better don’t forget to remember the awful days, dream about the awful future that will come and try to make it worse. Do not forget to remind every single person around you that he/she is cursed and if he/she isn’t, try to make it happen. The sooner, the better.
4.The neighbour’s Goat is always the best goat in the world. So, if you cannot have it, try killing it. Thus you will earn your goat’s respect and love.
5.The power of people does not lie in their number. The power is the lack of reaction. Let all things pass and nothing would ever harm you. Try to change things and they will act against you. Patience also cures everything.
6.Romania is a beautiful country. So beautiful that every great power tried to conquer it. So, to preserve your country and it’s indivisibility, try to destroy everything that could pass as beauty. The first step is to drown in grime every single yard of land you own or visit.
7.If you ever want to pass as romanian, never love your wife. Take her as an decorating object that has working abilities.
8.There are no easy jobs. Even when you are supposed to finish it in seconds, it must take days. And never forget to charge the victim with all the money he/she has. A good romanian never hurries.
9.If you ever see a poor man or child walking, crying on the street, never give help even the poor is dying there, have a stroke or had an accident. Just walk slowly, take a good look, be sad that noone intervenes but happy that it didn’t happen to yourself.
10.Alcohol is never enough. The statement must be taken as it is, even at work, hospital, school or behind the weel. Alcohol is romanian’s bread so you must get used to it before trying to be one. It can cure any disease, even cancer. It also cures life.
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